If you are in a situation when you deal with negative people, such as in the workplace, do not feel compelled to talk to them. Do everything possible to limit interactions; for example, if a co-worker continues to talk incessantly to you, apologize politely and end the conversation, if possible, or if you just can’t, try to reduce it.
The problem is not you, but their perception of reality
Realize you can’t please everyone and if people around you do not like you, that’s okay; realize it is not your fault, and there is nothing you should do to try to be friends with them. You are OK the way you are; the problem is their limited perception of reality. Continue to live your life and focus on the people who bring positive energy to your life and don’t pay too much attention to everyone else.
Realize they could have major problems.
Feel sincerely sorry for them and their desperate lives and try to have compassion for their problems. If an unstable person approached you, how would you behave? Would you try to contradict him / her or would you try to do everything you can to help this person or at least to show this person some empathy? Behave in the same manner when you deal with negative people around you. Having this point of view will make you feel much more at ease and will help you see certain people in a more objective manner.
No one can limit you in any way
Understand that no one can keep you from being yourself. No one can kill your dreams or decide what you’re capable of. Your destiny is not tied to what others think of you. The idea that we can be different people for different persons is all about perception. Realize that, in every moment of your life, you have total control of who you are and what you are capable of. Believe in yourself and focus on what you want in your life and don’t worry too much about other people’s opinions about you.
Spend time on yourself!
Realize you are the most important person in your life. Spend time every morning (at least half an hour) feeling grateful. Remember how lucky you are to be you, how lucky you are to be alive; remember all the good things that are part of your life; think about your vision and all the goals that make you feel alive and excited. Focus on yourself, focus on who you really are, and focus on the things that make you feel good and strengthen your inner energy. Half an hour every morning focusing on yourself will give you enough energy to destroy all the negativity around you!
Change your beliefs
If you find yourself in a situation where you have to deal with negative people, realize what kind of beliefs you have about yourself and about the situation. You may believe there is nothing you can do to solve this problem, that they are right and it’s all your fault; you may believe less in yourself and in your resources. One powerful technique I learned from Tony Robbins you can use if you find yourself with negative beliefs is to make a list of all your negative beliefs you have in your mind, and for every belief, ask yourself these questions: Is it useful using this belief in this situation? How ridiculous is it thinking this about me? What would happen to my life if I continue to have this negative belief? What would happen in the next 5 to 10 years if I continue to live with this negative belief? try to associate strong feelings to it. Then write down a list of at least one positive belief next every negative belief that you previously listed that would contradict it. Ask yourself: If I used this belief instead of the negative one, what would happen to my life? How much would my life improve adopting this new positive belief in the next 5 to 10 years? once again, try to associate strong feelings to this belief and now visualize yourself dealing with a challenging situation with your new beliefs; How does it feel? This is a powerful exercise that can literally change the way you feel when you deal with negative people or situations and that can totally change your life for the best.
Imagine yourself within a protective bubble
If you are forced in an environment where you have to deal with negative people, imagine yourself within an indestructible bubble. Imagine this bubble has a color that represents something solid and indestructible and that nothing can happen anytime you are inside it. This simple mental exercise will help you find courage in difficult situations, such as inside an office with negative colleagues around you.
Have positive and like-minded people around you
It is crucial to your happiness and for your inner balance to have positive people with similar values around you, people from whom you can find inspiration and with whom you can grow and become a better person. Go to the gym, find people who share your same interests, join a club, attend places where you know you can find people like you!
Do not take it personally
See all the adverse situations that occur in your life as an unprecedented opportunity to grow and be grateful you will grow as a person because of them. Ask yourself: What is positive in this experience? Realize there is always a good reason behind everything that happens in your life, and this experience is helping you to improve yourself, to strengthen your character, to make you become a better person. Ask yourself: What am I learning through this experience that I can benefit from?
Control your emotions
Listen to motivational tapes, read about positive things that happen around the world, read positive quotes, and focus on the solutions, not on the problems. If your partner does everything to make you furious, ask yourself: What is the best way to resolve this situation while maintaining control? How can I take advantage of this situation to improve my life? Questions like these will make you focus on the steps needed to resolve the situation, and they will transform your stress into positive energy directed into action.
Realize what is the real issue
Realize what bothers you in a situation, and ask yourself: What exactly bothers me? (e.g., the way some of my colleagues look at me, I don’t like the tone of their voice, the feeling of tension that is inside me every time I’m close to a certain colleague). The more you realize what bothers you, the more you will realize how to control your emotions and your reactions to that person or situation. Believe it or not, you have total control of your emotions, and you can consciously try to change the way you react to what happens to you, the way you feel in a certain situation, or when you interact with someone. If can’t stand the tone of voice of your colleague talking to you, ask yourself whether it is worth creating negative feelings inside you. Ask yourself: Is it worth it? Is it worth feeling bad just because this person has such a bad tone of voice? Have a laugh! Life need not be so serious all the time! The choice is always yours; remember it!
Take care of your happiness!
Defend your inner happiness at all costs. Remember that no one can touch it; no one can remove it. Always remember that happiness is your right, and nobody has the right to touch it if you do not give them permission. Remember, you can’t control the outside world, but you always have control over your inner world as Tony Robbins says.
Destroy the negative inner voice
If you feel uncomfortable in certain situations, look inside yourself; try to understand the reasons these people make you feel upset and work on yourself. Sometimes, the way we talk to ourselves can have a big influence on how we feel inside, even bigger than what some people around us can create. How do you speak with your best friend? Speak to yourself in the same manner in which you speak to your best friend. A change of this type on the inner level can create amazing positive changes in your life.
Remember to pray
No matter which God you believe in. Prayer has an enormous power over us, and if exercised frequently, it can give us inner strength and balance to face any situation in the best way possible. Just thanking God for what you have in your life and being grateful every day for what you have can have a huge positive impact on the level of happiness and confidence in yourself.
I hope I have helped you deal with difficult situations in a more useful way.
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See you soon!